Conversations With Expats

A: So, what do you do here in (small island in the South China Seas)?
B: Oh I'm so uninterested in all that "What do you, How much do you earn" sort of thing...
A: Yes, I used to think the same things when I was jejune and arrogant. Fuck off you obviously unemployed child.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

C: I got SOOooo drunk last night, you've no idea...
D: Umm, Maybe I do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

E: You know how little I paid for that hooker last night?
F: Not enough for her to feed her family in Vietnam this week?
E: Damn right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

G: Even if you're single you need to have sex at last every now and then. That's what the sex industry is here for. It allows unattractive, maybe old, maybe bald, maybe fat people to meet their physiological needs. We all have a sex drive, ugly or not.
H: That sounds a dubious rationalization. These girls are often trafficked against their will. Couldn't you just masturbate more?
G: More than I already do? Impossible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I: (At noisy party - shouts) Hey dude, how long have you been here?
J: Oh aboot a month. I'm from Canada, eh.
K: Oh my god, a virgin! We have to show you the sights! Taxi to 4FoWs NOW!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L: Where did you go for your holiday?
M: Boracay.
L: Do they accept the Charisma Card there?
M: No, dammit. Nice beach, but it was the most boring week of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

N: Oh my god, there's a tuk-tuk full of lady-boys chasing us!
O: Don't look, don't look.
N: (looks) Shit man, check out those tits!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Where's (insert name)?
Q: Probably in Club Romeo.
P: He seems to like the lady-boys in there. Is he bisexual or just a fucking pervert?
Q: Dude, if someone's giving you a BJ, who really cares? Just don't tell the civilians.


E@L