Sunday, October 18, 2009

Seasonal Variation

E@L needs new sandals as his current pair of Tevas are sort of clunky, he has decided. They are over three years old, are wearing out and not providing the soft-support he needs with this peripheral neuralgia, plus they have complete toe coverage like some dickhead old man's sandals. (No comments are necessary. The implications of him having worn these for the last three year are only too obvious.)

They were purchased for walking in Autumn in Paris, where that design made sense. It has finally sunk in, however, that they are not really suitable for these cloying, hot, sweaty-foot, days in the tropics.

Timberland make pretty good sandals; his previous two pair were tough Timberlands; lasted four/five years each, though they did expose his pinkies to the perils of shopping trolleys and angry aunties (some old post, can't find it, explains).

So E@L goes to the Raffles City Shopping Centre (don't get off at the Raffle's Place MRT station you dickhead! go back!!!) hoping to find the largest Timberland store in Singapore. OK, it looks a little cosy, but there are longs racks of boots (suitable for snow-slushing and extreme suicide mission on reverse vertical cliff-overhangs) and many shoes. Perfect for Singapore. Fucking NOT!

After looking around for a second or two, E@L realizes that there are no sandals.

There was an idiot fuckwit who, for all intents and purposes, seems to work at the store standing nearby...

- Do you not sell sandals? asks E@L and he misguidedly takes an earplug to listen to the irksome answer.

- We don't stock them at this time, the idiot fuckwit answers.

- Why not? asks E@l and sets himself up for the joke of the century.

- It's seasonal, says the idiot fuckwit, we only have the range...

- But this is Singapore, interrupts E@L. It doesn't have any seasons, you fuckwit.

- The range is for the season... or something - the robot starts to vomit out his pre-programmed excuses...

But E@L has put his earplug back in, turned his back on the idiotic fuckwit and moved away, already out of the useless store.

Globalization -- exhale, count to fourteen billion seven million and seventy hundred seven thousand. World seasons are whatever happens in North America.


Fact is, Timberland don't seem to make the sandals E@L wants any more.

Along with the soap he likes, the talcum powder he needs, the antiperspirant deodorant he prefers, vegemite, the pot-set yoghurt he craves, any clothes that fit him, rock salt, etc... And his feet continue to hurt because of the old sandals.

Singapore, globalization, orthopaedic surgery, marriage and pretty much everything else has failed him.

Then he went for a crap in the RC toilets only to realize too late that there was no toilet-paper in the cubicle... Brilliant. He gave the Toilet Uncle, who he has seen earlier cleaning down the sinks in the washroom an angry-ang-moh blast, told him he was fucking idiot.

Sigh... Brilliant.

E@L doesn't think the Zen study he's been doing has kicked in yet...

How was your day?


ONE Good Point - the Wavehouse artificial surf wavepark on Sentosa is totally brilliant to watch if you are or ever have been a surfer.

OK - gotta lose 35kg, limber up and get back into surfing! (All together now - Never... Going... To... Happen!)

This was way cool. There were international "championships" on tonight as we knocked down a few Sols before sunset, and the guys were VERY acrobatic, lots of air, really gutsy cutbacks and deep "tube"-riding and the standard was awesome. Think wake-boarding and skateboarding and snow-boarding but in a 6foot artificial barrel in three inches of rapidly churning water. And it was left-hand break as well! (I'm a goofy-footer.)

Stoked to watch that, man!



Stephen Folan said...

Singapore is like Westworld but the robots are beginning to break down.

Your Yul Brynner look as you clean up Boat Quay will be quite cinematic.

chop, chop, 1, 2, 1,2

savannah said...

my weekend? a buzz since yesterday and one i hope to continue until the phone rings with the results, sugarpie1 ;~D xoxoxox

Paula said...

Sounds like you need a Religion to help you focus on being tolerant, patient, forgiving, understanding and kind, - to help instil the spiritual fortitude to cope with all these worldy frustrations and the imperfections of others!??

I personally find my religion and faith helps me greatly with such, along with a daily antidepressant, a benzodiazapene, a drink or two and heaps of cigarettes!! Plus of course some occasional venting...

expat@large said...

Paula, being an intensely spiritual if not actually a religious person, I am trying the Buddhist approach; Zen and the Art of Living In Singapore...
but it's a tough call, and I only have this dwindling supply of gin to support me! (I haven't been traveling much lately so the duty free cupboard, while not bare, is bereft of the cheap bathtub gin I am so fond of on these balmy tropical nights!)

knobby said...

i'll get you some gin if you like! tho' izzy seems to think you prefer whisky...?

Lost in Melbourne said...

Phil if you need a pair of thongs I suggest you also have a look at Dupe. They are from Brazil and have a gel cushion heal so would be great with you dodgy feet. I found you can walk a lot more in them without getting too tired.

ruesedaine said...

You might like the sandals by Keen.

expat@large said...

Scott: no not thongs - have a good pair from Rip Curl but I can;t walk far in them, never could because I invariably get cramps in my feet from curling my big toe - it's involuntary.

Ruesdaine: thanks for the suggestion, nothing on those pages - I looking for the open sandals, a la Teva, but just not the Teva, they just didn't feel right the way the Timberlands did.

Buy the way everybody, I have ALWAYS been picky about shoes. Just call me Imelda.

Lost in Melbourne said...

Phil I sometimes curl up the big toe as well but other days I wear boxer shorts.

I would seriously bin any other brand of thongs for the sake of the Dupe, which are just excellent.

When you do find the ideal sandals let me know though as I need a pair myself.

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