It Only Hurts When I Pee/Walk/Stand-up

Damn. I think I have a bladder infection. Frequency and burning, some cramps. No recent sexual activity (with other humans present). Maybe there's an old kidney stone that's holding on to some bacteria. Who knows where these Job-like afflictions come from? Jehovah, some might say.

Yes, yes, I am drinking copious acidic drinks to neutralize the bugs, thanks.

And very tired. Very. Tired. Droopy-limbed and clumsy. Napping all the time.

Though that sense of complete exhaustion could be due to the a) the meds (took a double dose of Lyrica this morning as I forgot my morning meds yesterday), or b) to the burst of swimming and aqua-walking I performed yesterday, or c) to the staying up late and imbibing copious alcoholic drinks at what might shape up to be Our Local because of its centrality to the apartments of many expat buddies, the little pub on the Goldhill Building, Molesto's or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of my meds for peripheral neuralgia, I'm wondering when the time will come that walking is so painful that I'll need one of these...







Once more last week (after talking to sympathetic friends at the conference), I scanned my feet in our office to look for signs of tarsal tunnel syndrome (like carpal tunnel syndrome, but in the feet, obviously), but everything looked fine; nice, un-swollen nerves, not obviously pinched or inflamed. My neurologist thinks it is small nerve damage anyway, not TTS, so the possibility of more surgery is currently receding. But the immanent possibility of the pain receding does not. Ironically the only drug that did work for me was Cymbalta but that drug GAVE me prostatitis/bladder infection-like symptoms, similar to what I am experiencing today. [Thinks: maybe today's problem IS the Lyrica dose, as it is roughly similar in effect.]

There are days I feel that the maybe the pain in my feet and toes is imaginary. It must be impossible for someone to be so negatively AWARE of his/her feet 24hrs a day, for the pain to still be lingering after six years. I begin to feel that I am whinging for nothing, that this is not special, that everybody suffers from sore feet (look at the ads for inner-sole inserts everywhere).

But when I find myself stopping for a moment to wipe away the tears and to relax my aching facial grimace, when I find myself heading for the travelators and standing still rather than using them as the launch-pad for luggage pick-up as designed, when I see my weight escalating due to living in a completely too-shagged-to-exercise-zone and the fact that two of my drugs are appetite boosters, I have to keep searching for something like relief, something like a cure.

(At least current combination of meds do stop the ultra-sensitive toes problem - those unexpected shooting/burning/itching pains, the pulse of agony that a tickling feather or a light bed-sheet used to elicit - that has pretty much gone, except for when I forget my to take meds!)

Being dopey, obese, tired and hungry, and STILL having much of the pain continuously is a walking nightmare.

E@L

p.s: Need toilet paper, must get my electric chair revved up to go shopping.

p.p.s: Yes, I know, loose weight you fat bastard. Ironically, I think it was the increased activities (mainly walking on a treadmill in air-cushioned shoes) I made in 2004/2005 prior to my 30th school-reunion in order to loose weight so I could fit into some older, more stylish clothes that triggered the current continuous episode. I lost 5kgs - and my feet were STILL terrible - but I have put on 15kgs since then. The scales read 129.9kgs this morning. The dreaded yo-yo diet syndrome. And lately, having a social life means eating and drinking out a lot more...

p.p.p.s: Sigh.