Thursday, May 14, 2009

Oh........... Fuck!

E@L's days as a beer-slurping, overly-lush-golf-course playing, high-cash-flow, tax-dodging, Philippino-village-supporting, neo-colonial sex-tourist days might be drawing to a dramatic and abrupt close...

Hasty and superficial reading of some missives from a bunch of genuine hard-line, right-winger, tax-dodging, wine-swilling good buddies of his are a bit scary.

Those bastard, commie, lefto, pinko, moralistic, anti-fair-go-ripping-off-the-3rd-world socialists in the Australian Socialissimo (Che/Mao) Rudd Government are allegedly ramping things up to make us Expats (sending shitloads of cash home, supporting the economy) pay our Australian tax equivalence for monies earned overseas, even though we live our life entirely overseas...

Just like those poor Yankie bastards have to do, even to the point of their school fee reimbursements and their meager housing allowances for those villae in Napier Rd.

Time for E@L to consider re-establishing that shelf company in Hong Kong (which currently doesn't have a tax agreement with Australia, whereas Singapore does, believe it or not)!

Of course, sober (SOBER!!??) re-reading of the background documents indicates that (at the moment) such proposals only apply to Australian RESIDENTS temporarily living overseas, not to those of us who have flown the shit-soiled coop of nascent violence, petty small-mindedness ["In all directions stretched the Great Australian Emptiness..."]* and still rampant and exuberant 19th century style racism, and who are flirting instead with relative permanence (for of what can we ever be sure?) in a bargain golf-side 8 room residence by the turquoise-tinted sewage effluents at some dodgy Phuket marina, 51% owned (but 0% capitalized) by someone who claims (yeah, right!) to be married to us, un-like the last one, who didn't even bother to pretend.


Ah, isn't it refreshing how easily global xenophobia replaces one's subdued anti-nationalism** then morphs into a general misanthropy, freeing one's mind from the specific reminiscences of one's personal misogyny. Not.


(Yes, btw, my feet are hurting and the Bangkok restaurant I wanted to go into for dinner tonight wouldn't serve me as it was 9:40 and they close [hands crossed at the wrist] at 10. Fuckers, no wonder the tourist numbers are down. Or is that the murders and violent demonstrations of the last few months?)

* "In all directions stretched the Great Australian Emptiness, in which the mind is the least of possessions, in which the rich man is the important man, in which the schoolmaster and the journalist rule what intellectual roost there is, in which beautiful youths and girls stare at life through blind blue eyes, in which human teeth fall like autumn leaves, the buttocks of cars grow hourly glassier, food means cake and steak, muscles prevail, and the march of material ugliness does not raise a quiver from the average nerves." Patrick White


Dick Headley said...

Spag bol and couple of cold stubbys mate. Soon put you right.

Indiana said...

Heard about this, I think it will be ok, if you are a "non-resident" for tax purposes, the question will be what will the Government define as "temporary"...and will owning property in Australia act as a point of that "you own land, you must plan to return...therefore you are temporary"

Indiana said...

Reading the press release...we will have to pay top-up tax to Australian levels on our earnings after tax paid abroad...

...what I want to for what? WTF will those tax-dollars gain me?

marke said...

...."top-up tax to Australian levels on our earnings after tax paid abroad"

... that has always been the case, Indy?

expat@large said...

I think it is a furphy really, as it is the high flying banker-wanker wizz kids off for a two year tax-free free-fall that the taxwas after, and those "cheats" have all gone home now, tail between their black-swan legs.

savannah said...

interesting that you should post this, sugar! just yesterday i had a discussion with an accountant sort about a hypothetical situation re: overseas income and tax liability here. i'll not go into the details in a public forum, BUT... ;) part of your rant was on the right trail.

expat@large said...

Sav: I WOULD say I'm nothing if not topical, but as I reading a shitload of books on mathematics and infinity and limits and set theory and Bertrand Russell and Rene Descartes, I'd have to say instead, I do not belong to the set of bloggers whose topics do not belong to the set of the not topical. Except for the set of all empty sets - is it empty as well, becasue all the sets within it are empty of people who give a shit?

Oh shut up, Phillip.

You know, one day, I can only hope, I *will know* what the fuck I am talking about... at least in in some of these matters. And from that day forward, people will look back at me (forward backwards, I'm confused) as they do now at David Foster Wallace (back only) and go, "What the fuck was he talking about? We don't know, but we have to presume that he did!"

expat@large said...

DH: p.s. the spag bol at Gullivers tonight was possibly THE WORST conglomeration of so-called food ever placed in front of a human being in the history of this comment. Not even the application of copious amounts of Kraft Parmesan "Cheese", fresh from its Pringles like dispenser could save it.

I wonder if this wasn't where Spike came down with his dose of hepatitis, except he was in the Philippines most recently.

Skippy-san said...

Sounds like you guys need to have a "Tea Party".

Be sure to call the Prime Minister a facist and a socialist-and have big signs that say " party like its 1773!"

Seriously though-it looks like similar things are going to happen to your Yankee friends-as Obama goes after companies that ship jobs overseas.

If it makes you feel any better though-I'm paying the same taxes I did when I was in Japan. Now, if I could just be paying them in Japan.......

Lost in Melbourne said...

It is not on the agenda and in the best interests of China to open their financial system to other for scrutiny as far as I know.

As far as know HK is part of China in the true sense following the handover.

That's as far as my comments go but your thoughts as included in the post are likely to be on-track.

expat@large said...

Scott: the tax info agreement was signed a few years ago with Singapore, I checked it up when I moved. I have kept my HK account open, just in case!

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