Thursday, May 07, 2009

Excuse Me...

iMac Help Desk? Great. Just one quick question. You see, I've only been using computers for 24 years pretty much non-stop, so I am probably still new to some features.

I've got this picture file, right? I've modified it, right? I want to save this new version, the one I've modified, under a new name, OK?, so that I can find it again later (in the same directory by default would be great!), so that it is separate and distinct from the original version, ha ha... That way I can, like, use the new one in another application without confusing the two.

I don't want to EXPORT it with some 450 options (including my passport number and a letter from my 5th-grade teacher).

It don't to create a new PROJECT.

I don't want to hide it some VAULT.

I don't want to make a new BOOK.

I don't want to OUTPUT it anywhere.

I just want to change the name of the picture to a new name (without changing the name of the the original picture!)

How hard can it be?

Yes, you're right. Very hard sometimes.

What? I need to go to some iMac Beginners Course and/or have a new chip implanted and/or totally quite kidding myself that this is fun?

OK, thanks for your help.

No, YOU have a nice day, right there in Bangalore! How's the cricket?

Really? Is it? Well, not in Lahore, not for a while no, I suppose not! Yes... Yes... Hello? For how many? Go on, so fast? The man is a legend, a legend! Well, actually it WAS a rhetorical question, but I appreciate the run-rate statistics nevertheless. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry? I'm single. Sorry? My personal number?


It seems, with a Mac, using Aperture as I am trying to do (why???? because a Mac is good for gwaffics some idiot told me thirty years ago), that this "Save As..." thing is not an option the table-tennis playing floppy-haired business-casual designer-freaks who got $50million bucks for choosing the color scheme on the iMAc (white) had ever market-envisioned as being a potential-rich, protocol-maximised, profit-generating, tool-feature, latte-muffin, penis-subsistute, cocaine-addiction, word-substitution thing they had even considered...

All I am saying is, the simplest thing... Where the fuck is "Save As..."

Or even something that even resembles "Save As..."



Meanwhile in Kiddies Room of the E@L House of Horrors, playing 2 (two) games of Sudoku on the iPhone exhausts its battery.



savannah said...

i have no clue, but i feel horribly guilty for loving MACs, sugar. ok, i know you're talking about the iphone, but . . .


Luke said...

try "export version". You can put the changed file anywhere you want, with a custom file name.

Indiana said...

Luke go it in one. Aperture keeps all the files and versions in itself, if you need to use them or any of them in another programme you need to export them :-)

Why didn't you just ask me this last night at the pub?

rockstar69 said...

Indy: "cos nothin' gets in the way of serious drinking!!

knobby said...

you've spent too much time around smoot. only she says "2 (two)". or maybe she says "two (2)" and you're pretending to be original.

your file thing- no idea what program you're using but would it work if you opened the folder where the original image was saved, duplicated it, gave the duplicate whatever name you wanted and then messed with it?

Anonymous said...

Die, Steve Jobs...Diiiiiiiiiiiiiieeee!


expat@large said...

Luke: 'export' seemed too complicated at the time. It was 2am, I was moderately pissed. You are no doubt correct.

Indy: yep, wasn't using Aperture at the pub, ordinarily I use Parallels and ACDSeePro.

RockStar: exactly!

Knob: the "2 (two)" thing is as old as the hills; neither of is (are) being particularly original - but equally amusing.

So I should make ANOTHER 5MB file in oder to create a 30kb cut down version of the first 5MB file.

Dude: would it help? I don't think he does anything except stand (sit ion wheelchair) on the stage during product release anyway.

knobby said...

oh, i thought it was just a lawyer thing.

Unknown said...

Ahh. The birth of real computing. At last. I love it when the interface is dumbed down to a level appropriate for a moron so that experienced computer users can no longer do things that they take for granted.
You should try Office 2007. I spend more time googling simple things e.g. how do I open the header and footer?

Unknown said...

Gee I love this code verification thingy. Last comment needed "smegx" I almost typed smegma. This one wants "peting" I can only think that will lead to bed wetting.

expat@large said...

Bludger: that's right, every innovation that's supposed to make it easier for the beginner just makes it tougher and more annoyng/frustrating for the experienced users who had finally gotten the latest version wired...

And let's face it, how many of these 'beginners' can there be left?

expat@large said...

Bludge: re code verification, it make me ages to think up those almost words and then list them for the corresponding people who will get the joke...

Dick Headley said...

Keep 'em coming E@L. 'nobugsear' is a keeper.

Momentary Madness said...

I've nerer seen a Mac except on TV.
Another planet to us over here.

Lost in Melbourne said...

E@L perhaps you are just getting too fixed in your ways to change.

You might not be hip & cool enough for a Mac and iPhone?

My verification code is 'vensiv' a play on words from pensive perhaps?

expat@large said...

Scott: moi? E@L might "not be hip and cool enough"??? Dude, are you and I in the same universe, let alone on the same planet?

Or do you get your hands on a copy of that mock fashion dictionary we put together a few years ago (using free-ware on a Unix server) where we said "hip and cool gadgetry = expensive, dysfunctional tools, designed by tools for use by tools."

Oh we laughed.

It did have a good run there in the 90's when people thought it was serious. We thought surely they'd have grown up by now. Obviously not.

savannah said...

really, sugar, go back to the ibm/dell/hp/whatever microsoft world and just walk away from MACs. y'all seemed so much happier there!(i love you, darlin, and i'm only thinking of y'alls well being!) xoxox

(ok, now this is too funny for words: vw - bulli)

marke said...

.... squalik .... ?

(sorry, other than that, nothing to say)

expat@large said...

Sav: bulli bulli.

BTW apart from a few other things, which if time permits in the next week I will blog about (life keeps making other plans) I bought the Nokia E73 today (devil u know paradigm). iPhone 4 Sale: NROR.

Mark: ...

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