Saturday, October 04, 2008

Aussie Pioneering Spirit

Creepy was rather pissed off at the atheletic young lad who recently walked through the security sensors to kill, main or feed to a large crocodile $50,000 worth of native lizards, goannas and turtles in a town called Alice Springs...

I have to take umbrage this - for some reason Creepy has turned into a master Aussie baiter!



What a truly pioneering Aussie spirit this young Australian boy evinces. Excellent work, Holmes! Let's rid this damned country of all these strange animals, either by eating them (the original aboriginals munched through most of the mega-fauna in their first 40,000 years in Australia - roast giant wombat tucker! You bewdy!) or by following that great tradition that united the humble swagman and elitist farmer alike in Australia's noble past (that included getting rid of most the original aboriginals):

If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't, chop it down.

Of course, even such valiant attempts to remake this great southern land in the image of our caring and ever loving motherland,
Old Blighty herself as bringing a few harmless rabbits and the like are deemed vandalous and illegal by the bloody Greenies.

Those commo, poofto, lesbo, wacko hippy, tree-hugging Greenies! Wish we could shoot them too! But crikey, you can't kill anything to make a living these days!

Still, we have a great country under our feet. A huge country with vast tracts of ... iron-ore, copper, bauxite, uranium. FYI, this knowledge is often brought to us by naked geologists, those who work part-time at the topless bars in Kalgoorlie and hence need an all-over tan (I kid you not - the ex-husband of one of my previous girlfriends [not the public-bench girl] can vouch for this!)...

So of late, with China booming and calling out for raw-materials lead to metamorphisize into the alchemical gold of manufacturing profits, using coolie labor of course, Australia has a new mantra. Australia, that enormous empty island, that open-cut mine with a sea-view:

If it can be turned into toxic products in China, dig it up and sell it!

A sun-burnt country, a land of sweeping plain-faced red-necked wives on the patio looking out over the cane-fields at the bio-fuel crops...

What's a few ancient lizards, I ask? Been on the planet long e-bloody-nuff I reckon, couldn't be smart enough to evolve into something else, fuck, em! Good onya lad, you're a bloody legend in my book! Give the boy a gun next, I say; set him on the bloody Asian and Muslim immigrants in the big smoke, in bloody poofter central, Sydney!

That'll sort the sheep from the New Zealanders!


(Sigh. Wonder how many people will think I'm serious about this?)

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