Thursday, July 23, 2009

Decisions Deferred Definitively

Just a quick line about "the Mother" (and other issues) whom I promised I wouldn't blog about but Spike's worries about his mom changed my mind.

My mother (Mum) is 84 and similarly comes from a line that usually require dispatching with 2x4s. Mum lives alone at the ancestral (since 1960) family home. We've just had a bit of worry about her heart due to a sudden increase in exercise-induced breathlessness, and getting the right tests done and getting them done in a timely manner has required a bit of prodding from yours truly via long-distance calls from the humid open-air corridors of up-country Thailand hospitals. E@L's sister however still lives nearby and has been doing the main (and with stalwart efforts indeed) job of keeping her on the right track. But does E@L feel awkward being this far away from Melbourne and letting his sister do the actual footwork and the daily keeping in touch? You bet. Should E@L consider heading home to pull weight as his mum's Golden (if wayward and prodigal) Son?

The Number One Son is well and truly of rutting age and in what seems a stable long-term relationship, so there's only as thin layer of latex (maybe something more, who knows; one doesn't like to pry) separating E@L from grandfatherhood. What if the S-O gets broody and they decide to pop one out? Should E@L head back to Melbourne and be conveniently around for occasional (and only urgent!) baby-sitting duties? And of course to strut around flashing photos of himself with the new kid?

Finally, unlike Spike, this job looks set to provide another tour of duty or two, and even if this company lets me go, the distributor in Thailand would give me a subsistence position easily enough. I was even offered one by the Philips distributor in Thailand when I left my previous job in 2003. Some of the hospitals in Singapore or Hong Kong would also be keen to take me, I am sure. Was offered one last week in fact. Sometimes it's nice to have a niche skill-set. So that is not an issue. Where to retire though, when that decision needs to be made? Zurich?

Melbourne is on Spike's quoted list of livable cities.



E@L has decided to defer his procrastination on these issues to a later time, to be decided later.

It's dinner time in Bangkok. Where to go? - there's a tasty decision!



Unknown said...

Hmmm Hongers would be my choice though Singapore does have its sterile assets.

And remember, hard work pays off sometime in the future but procrastination pays off now.

Skippy-san said...

The problem with going back to humdrum suburban life is that you are not getting any younger while you do it. Any way to split your time between Melbourne and Singapore? You seem to be in demand-maybe a contract with a leave of absence over the hot summer months?

Talking out my ass I know-but its just my jealousy peeking through.

Lost in Melbourne said...

No need to get back here yet Fella. Melbourne is a great place and increasingly Asian. However wait for the next dip in the recession and the property market to topple before thinking about buying. Anyway some other's need to share the load with old parents and even with your skill set the talk of economic strength here is overdone, the Aussie economy is not a place to be looking for work at the moment. Albeit in your arena things might not change too much.

expat@large said...

Guys: there are four of us in my group, doing the same thing, travellling, etc... One lives in Chennai and another in Chiang Mai. Maybe in a few years I could relocate to Australia (or Hong Kong) whjo knows. I'm told ex-blogger Mdme Chiang, whom I had dinner with tonight, that there's role openfor a good bookshop in Bali, so one might contemplate a nice subsistence existence in Ubud or somewhere, too. But it's more the family responsibilties I'm deferring talk on., and going home. What a shock that would be as Skip says. It's not really a strong possibility, but after Spike's post, the whole concept is something I realise I had better keep in mind.

Momentary Madness said...

From experience let me advise you. Be with your mum, spend some time, and talk. I didn’t, and I realize she’s the most important figure in a mans life.
I didn’t make my usual Saturday call. (I’ll call tomorrow Sunday) Sunday morning someone called me to tell me she had passed away suddenly in the night.

savannah said...

it's a difficult spot, sugar. i wish i had the answer for you. i was fortunate, my mother lived with us before she died and now my MIL lives with us. even with that, it still weighs heavily on the MITM that he is always so far away. xoxox

expat@large said...

MM Sav: it also complicates things that my mum won't travel. She doesn't like it, been that way forever. There's no way she'd get on a plane. So if I could have brought her up when The Mouse (former maid) was running the place in Hong Kong or in Singapore it would have been great. But no point now. But let's not get too Freudian, she knows I love her, we rarely fight, I visit when I can. If was I was living there, I probably would talk as often as I do here! So I'm not going to quit my job to be close every time she has a scare - she get's anxiety attacks too - with some sense of foreboding... She might outlive us all yet, anyway! Interestingly, after the first test last week, she claimed to be fit as a fiddle again!

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