Monday, June 29, 2009

Death Plane For Billy



I'm guessing that whoever the late Billy Mays was, his death will not have been in vain. It seems something hit his head during a bad landing on Saturday ("I got a hard head", he said on Twitter) and when he woke up at home on Sunday he was dead. (In other words he didn't wake up, right? That was some E@L black humour there. No disrespect intended.) Most people (OK, me) are pre-empting the autopsy and think he suffered from a sub-dural haematoma (or an epidural: Sheesh, you thought, you thought! Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all?) from the landing incident.

I'm hoping this "celebrity" death will mean airlines will now actually enforce overhead luggage size and weight restrictions so that more people will have to check-in their huge, obviously over-size bags and a) not take up all the space for my briefcase and b) threaten my life if there is a bad landing or turbulence

I am so sick of getting on a plane and not being able to find somewhere to put my briefcase because some "frequent flier" guru thinks he is really smart and can escape fate. He thinks that a large bag taken on as hand-luggage will expedite his post-landing exit after the immigration queue and help get in first for the taxi queue. Ha!

When I come into most Asian airports, say HK or Changi, OK I usually have 32C or 32D - considered the best economy seats ont he plane, aisle, 2nd row of the front economy section, so I get off straight after those in Business Class - PLUS I go through the express queue at immigration (I love you, APEC card!) and STILL my checked in bag is usually there, already on the baggage-carousel! (I do have "Priority" luggage of course, being Gold Class. Tee-hee.) What's the point in rushing. Even if it's not there, big deal, I have a taxi queue coming up, then a traffic jam. Why stress out about a coupla minutes after a 7hr flight?

The only time I have ever been stopped and assessed for luggage size was in Melbourne. They weighed my overnight bag which would just squeeze in the steel frame of the size checking thingie, but it was overweight, so, as grumpily as you'd imagine, I had to go back and check it in. But that didn't hold me up at HK when I arrived, and it saved me searching for an overhead place to stow it in the already packed compartments. Therefore, WTF, am I in such a rush to get home or to my hotel? No. Calm... I always check my bag in now. I've only "lost" luggage four times, in over 10 years of frequent international travel.

Please check your bags, fellow travellers on life's journey, especially if you're on the same plane as me. Do not give me a slowly expanding Bill Mays sub-dural whenever we crashland with a bump.



Indiana said...

The only thing I don't check is my camera gear...everything else is in the hold.

Dick Headley said...

I hear the Sham Wow guy has started wearing a helmet.

expat@large said...

Indy: I'm with you.

SG: The Sham Wow guy is...?? The one who got tongue bitten by a hooker, right? I'd think he needs to start keeping his helmet under wraps.

Lost in Melbourne said...

Phil it will get worse now that more and more of the relatively cheap airlines are charging a silly pricing structure to bill for anything beyond carry on luggage in order to make the ticket price appear lower than it really is...

In 2000 when travelling in the USA I first encountered the NEED to carry on everything, what a damn selfish attitude I thought, was wondering at first why everyone was racing to get on first for their allocated seating??? Of course it was so they could take up all the space in the overhead locker!

Naturally 10 years later that type of world view has been exported and everywhere seems to be just as bad...

Unknown said...

I think I've lost luggage more times than four, last coming into South Africa last fall. Still, most times when I've lost luggage has been on the trip home when I could really care less. I only carry what I need on the plane with me. The more I travel the less that becomes.

Unknown said...

What *I* hate, come to think of it, are the fekkers who move my bag from the bin above my seat to stuff their oversized shit in the bin without saying a word.

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