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Friday, June 19, 2009

Novel Idea



I have decided (another decision made at 2am when I couldn't sleep due to the new meds being pathetic and making things worse) to stop writing on this blog before lunch and twittering away on Facebook and to spend at least two hours every morning - 9am to 11am, for example - writing a novel. Not necessarily my novel, mind you. ANY novel would do. Even a story, short medium or long. This enforced sitting with a pen from my new writing kit (see above) in hand and my novel-writing notebook (a present from Mercer Machine almost exactly two years ago) in front in me seems to be the only possible way I get to make a start.

I think that if I get to the office on time, this would the ideal place to perform this task. I can't do it at home as I probably just keep organizing my pron files, cataloguing them by number of participants, number of observers, language (mainly Japanese), flora, fauna and the amount of squint-eyed defocusing that allows me to perceive the relevant anatomy through the typical Japanese hatching. I don't know what Japanese genitals actually look like. Fuzzy things with anti-aliased chequered outlines I can only presume. Having a cock with all those edges must hurt. No wonder the girls (dogs, horses, etc...) all go "ooh, ooh", and look away, their eyes closed in pain. I don't know how the Japanese manage to find the will to procreate, it seems such an unpleasant experience. Plus by the far the majority of their spermatozoa seem to end up in procreatively neutral places, a finding that explains the current downturn in birth-rates in Japan.

So with blank paper in front of me, not pron, I hope soon to make a start. I think it might be best If I follow the sage advice of many wise dead writers and "Write What You Know About". What DO I know about? Japanese pron! I might start my novel with a story about two (or more) fuzzy genitaliated Japanese people who have weird sex on public transport. Now, at last, I'm in my comfort zone...

E@L

9 comments:

savannah said...

pron?

Hunter-Gatherer said...

It took me a couple of minutes to figure out it was not a soya based product.

Why not write the story of a couple of japanese pron stars who produce a pixellated baby and their subsequent travails when they discover that when a family photograph is taken that they are all pixellated.

savannah said...

ok, i had to google/urban dictionary: pr0n...you sly minx! xoxo

expat@large said...

Sav: remember what I said about typso.

H-G: See. You guys have ALL the brilliant ideas.

Mind you in Woody's 'Deconstruction Harry' Robin Williams played an actor doing a bit-parts so often he went out of focus in real life.

savannah said...

yanno, i thought about that, but y'all were so consistent and then, h-g's comment...i lead a sheltered life, sugarpie *coughing*
xoxoxo

dh said...

Typso! for writers in a hurry.

expat@large said...

Sav: the first time WAS a typo, but it looked funny, plus it's also Singlish blogger shorthand, so next time it was on purpose. That's the way THIS writer/typist in a hurry works.

(Interjection from reality - Damn, Indy and gf have invited me out to early brunch - Day 1 of the pron novel and I'm already making compromises... Then again, 'Eggs' Benny could be the name of a character... Let's put this meal down as research! [Indy says "Eggs" Benny sounds like an seedy Brit property developer in Phuket. Damn him, everyone else has better ideas and imagination than me.])

savannah said...

eggs benny! that is hilarious! xoxoxo

Jay said...

If you want to write science fiction "Eggs" Benny could be the name of a seedy Brit fertility doctor working on the cheap with questionable credentials in Bangkok.

His daughter "Juris" Prudence could be a hard nosed barrister conceived during those wild and swinging SoHo days of the 60s. Called on to defend her father from false accusations meant to slander her just as she's being considered for a judgeship.

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