Thursday, July 08, 2010

No Flat-Nosed Dwarf Eunuchs In *MY* Temple, Saith The Lord

[Not sure if I've already blogged this tale, but never-mind, here it is (again.) And I swear on Joyce's Ulysses it is completely true.]


E@L and a buddy were at a conference in Canberra, heart of party-land Australia (well, the porn industry anyway). We were sharing a room due to cost restraints implicit in the Kennett Government's attempt to balance our hospital's budget - along with the rest of the State of Victoria. Victoria was allegedly on the verge of bankruptcy thanks to exposure to an escalating pension debt (but only if everyone in the state retired tomorrow.) We had been "Jeffed", as they used to say.

Anyway, it was a free evening and we were about to head out to one of the companies' parties (free pizza and a certain amount of grog) at some hotel bar or other. We charged ourselves up with a swig or two of Glaywa liqueur (why we had this is beyond me) and in a fit of brilliance, I said we needed a theme for the night. In my mild-mannered Antichrist persona, I decided that a Biblical quotation would be perfect for this. I grabbed the Gideons Bible from the drawer of the desk. Always good for a laugh, the Gideons.

I trusted (still do) in the power of the Lord to guide my hand in finding a suitable text. I randomly opened a page and, looking away towards Heaven (a Nor' Nor' Easterly direction, about 8 miles from Canberra), pointed my finger (a random finger) at the thus anointed text. Then I read out the passage below, in a voice strong with conviction, from the Lord's chosen book, Leviticus 21.


[18] For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
[19] Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
[20] Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
[21] No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
[22] He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy.
[23] Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them.
[24] And Moses told it unto Aaron, and to his sons, and unto all the children of Israel.

Slight pause, as you might imagine. (Talk about access for the disabled!)

I threw the holy book on the bed and cried out with an exultant shout, "LET'S ROCK"!


(This post prompted by comments on Alvin's FB concerning those who cherry-pick their beliefs, stimulated n turn by this FB page.)


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