Nothing is new under the sun, nor under the sheets (Japanese pornography excepted).
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Flaubert's sexual adventures in Egypt were exceptional in his life and not repeated. For Burton, however, Eastern sexuality was a life-long preoccupation. To be sure, it was always a fascination among a minority of Western men, with the vast majority falling in love with, and being sexually drawn to Western women. But Burton prefigured something that would happen when the mixing of civilizations became common and some men would develop a veritable cult of the Asian woman, who seemed to them more sensuous, less inhibited, more sultry, slender, fragrant, feline and languid, less competitive, less demanding of absolute fidelity, and for some or all of these reasons, more desirable than Caucasian women. Burton felt that way. The cult of the Asian woman among Western man - her erotic elevation - didn't originate with him, but it received validation from his writings and his experience. From the very beginning in India, he and others like him extolled the virtues of the bibi over the white women back home, both because she caused less trouble and because she was better in bed. None other than Anglican bishop of Calcutta, Reginald Heber, admitted that he had difficulty keeping his eyes off the local Bengali women he saw bathing in the river at dawn, confessing that "the deep bronze tint was more naturally agreeable to the human eyes than the fair skins of Europe." With slightly different reasoning, first Viscount Garnet Wolseley, field marshal in the British army, admitted that he consorted with an "Eastern princess" who fulfilled "all the purposes of a wife without any of the bother" and that he had no intention of marriage with "some bitch" in Europe, unless she were an heiress.
The East, The West, And Sex: A History, Richard Bernstein. Vintage 2010, pg 117. (empahasis mine)
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Of course some Asian ladies still find the antics of the sex-pat, the modern equivalent of Flaubert and Sir Richard Burton (the explorer not the actor, you philistine!) to indicate that the perfidious perpetrator is some kind of abberation, to be despised and/or mocked, as he (it's always a he) is doing something unheard of and shocking! (Hollyjean's post is perhaps not the most sterotypical example of such sterotyping there is, but it is indicative of the genre.)
The "can't get laid at home" sex-pat, or indeed sex tourist, might just enjoy the East for EXACTLY that reason: they cannot get laid at home. But this is nothing new at ALL!
Sigh.
It may not be comprehensible to the beautiful people of the world, the modern world and the old world, those of them who climb all sort of exotic (ha, means 'from another country'!) sexual territories in order to shag other models and other six-packed atheletes exclusively, but unattractive people do have sex drives, similar to theirs.
Ugly people (old, bald, beer-bellied: people like E@L, in short) like to fuck too. Not only do they like to fuck, they NEED to fuck. They should fuck, and if they can fuck, let them fuck. They were commanded by God The Creator in the Garden Of Eden to fuck. And they can fuck, thanks the sildenafil, tadalafil and vardenafil, for as long as they fucking want.
Can't get laid at home? Can get laid in Wanchai, the 4FoW or Nana Plaza. Problem solved. And with a lady whose beauty and demeanour may complete utterly their deepest sexual fantasy. Why the fuck not?
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[E@L doesn't want to stir up a fist-fight here, he just being honest about it from a certain Occidental point of view. He is completely aware of the horrors of sexual slavery, people trafficking, and child exploitation, drugs, etc... but these things are not limited to Asia or to the last 40years and the book I am reading is at pains to point out. The Americans soldiers on R&R in the 60s and 70s did not invent the concept of the caravanserai of mobile brothels following troops on their marches to war. "Hey you pedites, and even you, old bald fat general, you're all probably gonna die tomorrow, gimme a coin or two and let's FUCK!" (So I can feed and educate my children back in Rome, living with my mother.) Nor did the modern sexpat invented the concept of the harem, as Bernstein points out. Once the secret key to the mystery of the harem was limited to the Sultan, now it available to anyone with 2000Bht. But the fishbowl of Ratchadamburi Rd is still essentially a harem.]
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Other complications may arise (no pun intended) for the sex-starved and often love-starved sex-pat. The repeated [Rule of Three, blog to come] plaintive statements of real need and the earnest protestations of true love can burn through the rational misgivings (they pretend to like you, and you pretend to believe them) of even the most cynical owner of the hardest heart and create new neural pathways in his dopamine driven brain.
When this happens, as it will, the cannot-get-laid-at-home man no longer distinguishes the "lub you long time" of an exploitative (and exploited, of course) bar-girl, from the "I love you oh so passionately, Roger, my heart melts as I swoon in your arms, and I'll never leave you, kiss me, you fool," of something from Jane Austin or from some other trash Romance novelist.
And before you know it, reality intervenes, as does our exploited lady's boyfriend, and our sad and tragic hero is doing the Pattaya swan-dive* from the twelfth floor of his lost-love hotel.
But such dramas are not for discussion here...
E@L
Related Posts: The Fishbowl, Brad Pitt and E@L - Separated at Birth?
* Hat-tip to Chuck Woww.
5 comments:
I have located the original comment. Not one of my best but here it is in all its unedited glory...
Dick says Chuck says thanks. They've both had a long-standing philosophical interest in the topic as you know.
I once met a woman that told me, with a straight face, that she and her husband had sex every other Thursday.
Every other Thursday.
Like clockwork.
Outstanding! With each other?
I can set the calendar by when I get laid.
I like the Chinese view of love and relationships as it is so telling and so accurate at the same time. It's all a buy/sell equation. When everything is in balance everyone is happy, when one is paying too much or receiving too little there is discord. Whether one is actually paying real baht to a bargirl in Thailand or paying for the mortgage, diamonds and Louis Vuitton you are still paying.
I once did the math and the cost of my divorce divided by the number of times Mr. Happy got made happy worked out to about $150 a throw. This was in the 80s. I could've bought a lot of first class fucking for that price and without any illusion that I was the only one buttering her buns. I'm not bitter about it, it's just a reality that whether it's for money to feed you kids or whether its for furs and jewelry it's all the same. The bargirls are just more honest about it.
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