Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stretch Thin, Live Long and Prosper

After standing for the King and sitting for Star Trek I can tell you it all doesn't make any fucking sense. Take a few self-referential gags, some horrendous science (you CAN change the laws'a physics Jim!), some good ole' American let's-bomb-the-gravity-machine-fuck-out-of-the-English-speaking-Alien-bad-guys and fuck whatever subtlety and morality-play ambiguity we might have tried to sneak into our science-fiction with the Battlestar Gallactica series (or the original Star Trek series!) and go for the cheap thrill, the short ride, the corny and superfluous CGI (WTF, with the ice-planet monsters - point thereof, Mr Plotman?). I think we should stop making single movies like this, where everything has to be rushed and used just once, and make more series like BSG, where we can stretch things out, make the most of all those props and sets... Hang on, weren't those escape pods used in about 250 other Star Trek War movies? Waste not!

Spoiler alert. (Oops that was for the above as well.)

It's stupid.

End Spoiler alert.

Big physics question. How can you contain, what? 400 gallons of thick gooey red liquid black-hole/worm-hole generator, which must have the essential nuclear density of several galaxies, in a glass container and not have yourself, your ship and the entire space-time continuum within cooee warp itself around said extremely high density matter like a giant 1980's computer animation going all toe-fucking berserk... And yet if you put (in a BIG syringe so it's, like, safely contained) just one tiny drop of the corn-syrup shit into the core of a planet (let alone into the fluff off a supernova's cappuccino) it implodes back into itself and creates a (or another in the possible case of a supernova) black hole?

Oops, missed that Spoiler alert thing!


I actually have a theoretical physics visualization problem (well, who doesn't?) about this entire worm-hole thing of Hawkins. (Was it Hawkins or Heinlein?) That warped Cartesian 2D map of the universe under the gravity field thing they churn out every so often on TV is supposed explain light bending around a star, like the sun at eclipse, like the way a billiard ball bends on cloth untrue, right? But it is just a metaphor, troops! The elevation plane distortion represents an increase in the density of the gravitational field caused by the mass of the adjacent planet or star (or blob of corn-syrup). It doesn't occur in just two dimensions, but, oh no, in three (3), count 'em! And the density actually advances towards an azimuthal point that is situated NOT somewhere down below, and NOT somewhere up above, as the metaphor (see pic) would have us visualize, but in the centre of the mass object itself; in the sun, in the planet or in the tiny blob of corn-syrup. (This concept of advancing toward a threshold or limit is very Zeno, to say nothing of Weierstrauss!) So there is no skate-boarding the half-pipes of worm-holes to new (or old - as these worm-holes are also time-holes) places in the universe for the Christmas hols kiddies, I'm sorry.

(But of course as I have no conceptual skills for visualising things beyond the eight dimension, it could be my fault for just NOT GETTING IT... Anyway, the waffle continues...)

This dimensional displacement would approach its threshold in the very convergent heart of the gravitational body, be it star, neutron star, black-hole or jar of red corn-syrup. There too would be further infinitesimally small loops of dimensional threads, folded mathematically back into themselves, like the shear forces on a planes wing-tips (depending upon the density of the gravitational field of course.) (But of course!!) String-theory is something about this, but OK my mind has way glazed over, as no doubt yours did many sentences ago...


Hey while we are all on this merry mind-meld...

In case you hadn't guessed from some of the above mathematobabble, I am reading (OK listening to) a book about Infinity called The Mystery Of The Aleph.. Never seems to fucking end. Ha ha. Must turn off LOOP on the iPod. (Have I mentioned all this?)

Listen. Poser of the logic of infinity.

If'n you took all of the infinite number of REAL numbers from the *complete* list of numbers between zero and one, it would be infinitely small set. Do I hear someone ask, why? Do I? No? Someone? Go on someone, ask. Sigh. OK, why? Because the infinite number of UNREAL numbers between zero and one is so uncomprehendingly infinitely large, that the removal of even that infinite number of REAL numbers would have no effect on its infinitude. (Or so I am led to believe. I think this is something that explains the red corn syrup in the above mentioned Star Trek movie.)

By the way, Dr Hilbert, your room is ready now.


Where were we? Star Trek. OK, the kid who plays the very young Kirk does a good job of aping Shatner's casual, arrogant slouching and lolling about in the Cap'n's chair, etc., but that's about it. Entertaining, yeah; stupid, yeah; hate yourself for liking it, yeah...


And I knew Chopper was a bit of a bad lad, but since when did he we want to fucking kill everyfuckingbody, eh? Harden the fuck up, young Spock!

[By the way, the mini-bio of Nero is wrong there on IMDB. Nero comes, not from an alternative future, but from the future that is the natural and real future, sequential to all the other Star Trek movies and TV shows. Because he has come back through the corn-syrup worm-hole and fucked things around, it is all the subsequent travels of the Starship Enterprise that will be in a new version of the present, and hence a new future will unfold, one presumably, where his planet will be saved (because the supernova hasn't happened yet, only 126+ years in the future and young Kirk now knows about it, thank to his mind meld with old Spock) and Nero won’t get angry and need to come back... "Hey Doc, my picture is faaaading!"]

Oh fuck! Can we do that Spoiler alert thing restrospectively again?


However, after watching the trailer tonight I wanna see the new Terminator Salvation movie, because that is one hot looking show! And I know Arnie won't let me down! He's in it, right? I think they should stop making stupid TV series like The Sarah Jessica Parker Chronicles, and just make more Terminator movies!


Aw fuck I'm sick of this playing with this scatterbrained post already, I'm putting it up, typods (my new computer!), stupidities and all.



Indiana said...

I don't think Arnie is in it.

Ohhh, and if you want realism in your TV/Movies, you better stick to just watching NGeo, History and Discovery.

savannah said...

what are y'all talkin about, sugar? xoxox ;)

rockstar69 said...

You want morality play ambiguity and meaning!!!

Shit.. And I thought you had BSG on your shelf for the horny Cylons

Hunter-Gatherer said...

I'm read a life of Philip K Dick - a great SF writer who didn't worry too much about any consistency in the physics. He just made it up as he went along. Why is how physicists discover the solutions. They make up a neat solution and then hunt around for a problem to fit it.

DanPloy said...

I am told in the new Angels and Demons movie that a small carton of anti-matter is conveniently carried around in a flask by some baddie or other.

Presumably the container is made of matter so that, for me at least, that is a small quandary.

I expect I will go and see Star Trek though and hate myself for it. I see on Facebook we have a 64% compatibility of movie tastes!

expat@large said...

Indy: I do wish the Disco/History channels would stop showing anti-science stuff like "Mysteries of the UFO/Ghosts/Supernatural" crap... Duh, like I didn't know Arnie ain't coming back. Look up joke in the dictionary, loser. No DVDs for you. (Well, not unless you send me a list.)

Sav: I have NO IDEA!

Rockstar: That, and the morality.

H-G: Look at the PKD books that failed as movies - the ones with obvious physics flauting, like that Nick Cage crap. PKD stories (the good ones) are all variations on the brain in the jar conundrum.

Dan: scary huh! I took an anti-matter pill to make myself disappear, an anti-gravity pill to make me float, a gravity pill to stick to the floor of my space-ship, an anti-diarrhoea pill to stop me watching crap movies...

Istvanski said...

"Harden the fuck up, young Spock!"

Vulcans don't have emotions. You should know that by now.

savannah said...

i was just going to read the comments, but now i have tocomment, too! only because the vw is denturos which for some odd reason, i find hilarious! that said, are you going to post your ward, sugar? ;)

expat@large said...

Sav: what are YOU talking about? Nice wine you are drinking, yeah?

Istvanski: Dictionary. J. After "jocund", before "joked". Go. Go now.

No emotions, eh? So is that why young Spock was tonsil wrestling with young Eihura before he and Kirk scattered their meat into the randomness of the Transporter? Oh fuck -- Spoiler Alert! -- Missed it again!

expat@large said...

For those of you who want a bit more of the stuff I was talking about in the post, I can recommend heartily "On The Toplopogy Of Isolated Singularities In Analytic Spaces" by Jose Seade (Progress in Mathematics Vol.241) 2005. I never leave home without it.

expat@large said...


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