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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Last One Today I Swear

Singapore has its first case of Swine Flu. A 22 year old woman came in from New York and went through the Changi Airport temperature scanners and did not trigger them.

Those scanners, they never caught anyone with SARS either.

WASTE OF TIME, WASTE OF MONEY. Mere show.

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You want to stop the spread of these bugs in Asia?

1: install soap dispensers in all toilets. (I am assuming you will use the toilet.)

2: USE the soap!

3: ensure toilet paper is available in all toilets

4: USE the toilet paper!

5: ensure PAPER TOWELS are available in all toilets (one inefficient hand blow-drier for 15 sinks is not going to do it. Even if you had 15, they take too long, when they work at all... Don't start me.)

6: USE the paper towels to properly dry your hands!

7: DO NOT touch the toilets doors or handles with WET HANDS!

8: DO NOT use the WET is CLEAN approach to personal hygiene, nor to bathroom maintenance. New paradigm: Wet is DIRTY - Dry is CLEAN. These bacteria THRIVE IN WATER!

9: Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue if you have to cough or sneeze. There is no need to wear a stupid expensive hi-tech mask if everyone is sensible... Um, OK better get a mask... (In HK during SARS time, I used to see people take off their expensive N95 mask in order to sneeze into the open air!)

10: Don't use your own chopsticks or utensils for a common plate at a restaurant. In HK this is strictly observed now, it quickly became entrenched etiquette but in Singapore, it was like SARS never happened.

11: Call off next week's training and go lie by the pool.

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Types of Acceptable Swine Flu Mask For Asia (recycled jokes from SARS):

Pink Hello Kitty Mask - more effective than other cartoon characters, but only when pink.



Digital Mask: on right - stops gravel-size bacteria from entering respiratory tract




E@L

8 comments:

Indiana said...

Nice mask ~grin~

scott said...

It seems that Melbourne is awash in Swine Flu now.

Can you please put a hello kitty mask in the post for me?

Cheers Fella.

expat@large said...

Indy: not sure where that is now... Damn.

Scott: we should look for a supplier in China! How's the cold?

scott said...

The cold could actually be flu as I am still feeling like crap, although the antibiotics seem to have removed the colourful lumpy stuff that was making it's way out of my lungs.

Supply chain delays mean that we would not be able to get those damn masks from China to Australia and into the market quick enough to make money, it would be the middle of 2010 if I did not have all the right contacts to shift that stuff here as well. (best bet would be selling direct via ebay)
The 2nd problem is that the supplier would most like sell us something fake, and the masks would be toxic and kill anyone who wore them.

No I am not cynical about sourcing and manufacturing products in China based on years or experience...

dh said...

Are you sure that's a Hello Kitty Mask? Could be someone's thong.

expat@large said...

Scott: hahahahaha, but I see you have fallen for the Chinese medicine approach of antibiotics for everything. No wonder we have swine flu and superbugs. I think it depends upon the colour of the lumpy mucoid/frothy stuff whether it was infected or not of course. Pink means pneumonia, take d'em drugs. Yellow, go to bed and call me in a week. You'd be just as well off with some Trad CM and some chest physio. Of course I'm not a Quack, but I know a cupla hundred.

DH: it came in a plastic bag from an Auntie in Wanchai so it must be sterile.

scott said...

Well I am totally bored of being sick and giving the inside of my apartment too much time due to the 'GFC' but at least it has given me time to make some money in the gambling den known as the HK stock market.

All that effort to get fit over the last couple of months is out the window though.

expat@large said...

I wish everyone would stop blaming the GFC for their worries. The Geelong Football Club, like any AFL club have to make compromises under strict regulations like the salary cap, father-son rule, etc. On occasion, losing a completely unlosable grand final WILL take down the entire world banking system - the crucial role of an obscure Australia football club on the international money market is a result of the hyper-complexity of chaos theory in macro-economics is just something we all are going to have to learn to live with.

Gambling on the HK stock market - good to see that the lessons of recent history mean nothing to you. I suppose my plan on sourcing and importing from China mattresses with safes in them doesn't interest you?

Re: fitness. You'll bounce back. You're young. Me? I'd not even bounce if I threw myself out your fracking window.

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