Calvin Quotes

Miss these guys...

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating
and impenetrable fog!
-- Calvin

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
-- Calvin

Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test.
-- Calvin

Calvin: Can you make a living playing silly games?
His Dad: Actually, you can be among the most overpaid people on the planet.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
-- Calvin

The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
-- Calvin

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!
-- Calvin

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
-- Calvin

If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
-- Calvin

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.
-- Calvin

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
-- Calvin

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
-- Calvin

I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
-- Calvin

Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial.
Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that...

My life needs a rewind/erase button.
-- Calvin

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
-- Calvin

Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work.
Calvin: So?
Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned.
Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that.

If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!
-- Calvin

MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?
No, Calvin.
CAN I RIDE MY TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?
No, Calvin.
Then can I have a cookie?
No, Calvin.
(She's on to me.)

I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway.
-- Calvin

Calvin : I think we have got enough information now, don't you?
Hobbes : All we have is one "fact" that you made up.
Calvin : That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a few illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate thesis.

Hobbes : Shouldn't we read the instructions?
Calvin : Do I look like a sissy?

Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere?
-- Calvin

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
-- Calvin

Dad are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all the opportunities you botched ?
-- Calvin

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
-- Calvin

A good compromise leaves everyone mad.
-- Calvin

Miss Wormwood, could we arrange our seats in a little circle and have a little discussion? Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders since it is less wasteful.
-- Calvin

Calvin: Who can fathom the feminine mind?
Hobbes: I like 'em anyway

"When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade." -Susie
"I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!" -Calvin

Oops, I always forget the purpose of competition is to divide people into winners and losers.
-- Hobbes being sarcastic

It's great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of ideas.
-- Calvin

That's the problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
-- Calvin

All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.
-- Hobbes

I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.
-- Hobbes

I don't understand this! Not a single part of my horoscope came true! ... The paper should print Mom's daily predictions. Those sure come true.
-- Calvin

I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.
-- Calvin

That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you or oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV.
-- Calvin

Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.
-- Calvin

~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile in E@LGHQ, I have a really sore shoulder, at the back. Ow. Thought you should all know this. Been five weeks now, not got any better. Or worse: Should be thankful for that I guess.

E@L