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Monday, September 14, 2009

Words Can't Describe...

I'll try to find something on You-Tube that demonstrates the feeling of trying to take a dump when your whole pelvic floor is in spasm due to a bladder infection and the muscles are working out of phase. (p.s. Nobody need mention anal fissure, I've had one of those as well. Similarly indescribable.)

How's this?




Close, but start with one of those red-hot tracer-bullets jammed up your urethra.

Then go Explosion. (The pulsing red circles at 1:55, oh yeah...)

Then comes the Fallout...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Antibiotics and cranberry juice are hopefully going to cure this radiation sickness in a few days. Till then...

It's DefCon1 in the E@L dunny!

E@L

7 comments:

Momentary Madness said...

Charming!
In the wars again are we.
Put some wood between your teeth, and turn up the transistor.
Just before the last helicopter crashed I half expected John Lennon to enter singing: “I woke up, got out of bed, dragged the come across my head ..... “
(Get well soon man;-)

cyrano said...

you're such a whinge;-) ;-) ;-)

expat@large said...

MomMad: it's tough not to grunt or scream, so I'll put the bit between my teeth as you suggest...

Cy: yep. It's what makes me so attractive to the ladies... ("Hey honey, want to see my cyst?")


Note to self: Cranberry juice, you can only drink so much in one lifetime... NEVER order a Cosmo or a Seabreeze EVER again.

rambeaux said...

Fucking awesome. I'm gonna quit my job to play that...

scott said...

Phil this just further supports my excellent suggestion of collection a belly bug to lose weight. As I said, I certainly had not problems of a backed up colon when I finally pulled together the strength to flee Vietnam and hold the champagne cork up there long enough to last the flight from HCMC to Singapore.

I am sorry but I have to admit laughing out loud when I read your post ;-)

expat@large said...

Scott: oh so you're the one who thinks I'm funny.

Hunter-Gatherer said...

When I lived in Nottingham the most popular pub graffitti read 'When the bottom is falling out of your world drink Shipstones and the world will fall out of your bottom'. It was vile, warm bitter that was incapable of being cooled and you had to be born locally to be immune to the effects of it. I feel queasy when I type the word Shipstones.

I must lie down until the dizziness passes.

You are definitely still funny

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