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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

iChuck a million times.

Dick has just reminded me of the abomination beyond words which has befallen the delicate sensibilities of the average Australian - me.

Kraft, an American company operating certain product lines in Australia, have, after a nation-wide competition, named their new mixture of cream cheese and the erstwhile sacrosanct yeast extract phenomenon Vegemite...

... and it is called...

... as announced at half-time at the VFL Grand Final to the largest WTF! 99,251 people could possibly emit in unison...

...


... wait for it...



iSnack 2.0



Not it's not an update to a virus elimination program, but a toast spread. No, it's not made by Apple. No, it's the first time they've released the product in Australia (tried and failed in USA).

I swear to whatever gods are left that this has to be a joke, a scam, a prank, a jape, a rise, a test, a go, a tickle of the funny bone. To paraphrase that great irate, Mr John MacInroe - "YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS!"


Oh but they are.

Yet another example of the great American marketing machine failing to plumb the specious depths of the Australian psyche.

Suggestions: "VegeMate!" "CheesyMite!"

How about "Vegemite With Cheese." On toast.

Strewth. There is sufficient exasperation involved to make one throw a fuckin' wobbly.


E@L

8 comments:

savannah said...

y'all expected better from kraft foods, sugar? xoxoxo

Dick Headley said...

It gets worse. Roo steaks will henceforward be known as Ecoburgers.

Indiana said...

I think they are going by the idea that all publicity is good publicity.

Either that or they want to totally alienate their fan-base.

expat@large said...

Word is out that they are taking the name back...

expat@large said...

Yes, Indy, certainly there is a HUGE amount of publicity in this Bad Name Branding affair! I wouldn't mind trying some, for one.

I don't have it with cheese (mabye a few slices of Red Leciester) so much as with a poached egg on toast! Bloody beautiful! And a killer hangover cure, when taken with panadol extra and three gallons of water infused with Berrocca.

expat@large said...

DH: not hopalong-steaks, fillet de national emblem, or skippy-burgers? Amazing how short-sighted we are. As a species I mean.

Dick Headley said...

Skippy-burgers is good. Pop them in the microwave and watch the kids jump.

Stephen Folan said...

Can't we get the drug dealers to name it they choose such great names for their products - perhaps it could be Crystal Vegemite, Angel Paste, Lick Heaven...

Let's get the main marketing Aussie, Skip Doggy Dog on the case

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