Dick has just reminded me of the abomination beyond words which has befallen the delicate sensibilities of the average Australian - me.
Kraft, an American company operating certain product lines in Australia, have, after a nation-wide competition, named their new mixture of cream cheese and the erstwhile sacrosanct yeast extract phenomenon Vegemite...
... and it is called...
... as announced at half-time at the VFL Grand Final to the largest WTF! 99,251 people could possibly emit in unison...
... wait for it...
Not it's not an update to a virus elimination program, but a toast spread. No, it's not made by Apple. No, it's the first time they've released the product in Australia (tried and failed in USA).
I swear to whatever gods are left that this has to be a joke, a scam, a prank, a jape, a rise, a test, a go, a tickle of the funny bone. To paraphrase that great irate, Mr John MacInroe - "YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS!"
Oh but they are.
Yet another example of the great American marketing machine failing to plumb the specious depths of the Australian psyche.
Suggestions: "VegeMate!" "CheesyMite!"
How about "Vegemite With Cheese." On toast.
Strewth. There is sufficient exasperation involved to make one throw a fuckin' wobbly.
Roger Ballen: Platteland (South Bank Show 1995) -
2 hours ago